“I Wish I Had a Broken Past…”

It sounds silly, but I’ve had that feeling before.

You know what I mean – when you’re sitting in church or at some convention and the speaker is telling you all about their testimony. how broken they were, and how they are now a great light for God and it’s so powerful. Everyone in the audience is crying because they’re such an inspiration.

Or you’re reading a book and it’s having the same effect.

And then you think about your own life and think – “Man… My testimony sucks.”

I’ve done it many times. Somehow, in some weird, twisted way, I feel deprived or like I missed out, and then I shake my head at the absurdity of my thoughts.

Am I glad I wasn’t ever addicted to drugs (I didn’t even know the names of some until recently) or was never physically or emotionally abused? Yes – I’m extremely grateful and feel incredibly blessed that was not the case. So, it’s not like I WISH I had been addicted to something or I’m disappointed that my parents never inflicted painful wounds on my heart. But I just sometimes feel like my testimony is lacking.

At least, it’s not as good as someone else’s and most definitely not worth sharing. Why listen to my testimony when other people have much better ones?

I was reading a book one day, and the author was talking about wounds on hearts. She said that everyone has certain wounds that take time to heal – lies that need to be rebuked. I got to the end of the chapter, looked up, and thought to myself, “huh…I don’t feel anything like that.”

I’ve talked with people in my life about this before, and I’ve found people who feel the same way. Are we all just doomed to a lousy testimony, then? I mean, we can’t really relate to people going through a hard time as well as others can, and we haven’t really lived through any significantly trying events…

However, I’ve become convinced, through talking with my family and to God, that the answer to that question is “no.”

Just because you haven’t been addicted to drugs, had someone close to you die, or experienced some other life-shattering event, does NOT mean your testimony sucks. Sometimes, your testimony is just what other people need to hear. It’s been true for me, and it can and will be true for you.

Every person’s story is unique and, I believe, made to touch certain people in a special way. Just because your past was “unexciting” doesn’t mean it wasn’t inspiring or powerful in some way.

My testimony, after I looked at closer, is actually pretty special. How dare I say the story God picked out for me wasn’t “important” or “impactful.” It definitely is. Perhaps that’s the lie the enemy would have us all believe: “your story isn’t worth sharing. It’s not inspiring or special in the slightest – why bother? Why bore other people with your simple and unqualified life story?”

I call it a lie because IT IS.

You DO have a story to tell and people to touch. Believing that lie prohibits you from reaching the people you were supposed to reach and changing the lives you were supposed to change.

Your story matters.

Don’t you dare hide it.

 

Until Next Time,

Hope Frances

 

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