Spamming Spammers – A Continuation, and How to Get Rid of Spammers
If you follow my blog, you’ll remember the post I wrote a few months ago called “I Scammed a Scammer.”
It was fun, but I made too many mistakes and it sadly ended rather early.
A few days later, I got an email from someone pretending to be the same co-worker as before. I had learned from my previous mistakes and ended up getting the spammer to ask ME to stop emailing HIM. Needless to say, I haven’t gotten any more spam emails like it since 😛
Here was the exchange (I changed the names again to preserve privacy):
It started out with the same message, asking me to send him my phone number. I responded (and can’t remember what I said) and he responded:
I need your cell number. i want you to run a task for me right away.
-Brian
I didn’t take to being ordered around, so I responded:
What kind of task? And what’s in it for me?
-Hope
Brian responded:
i’m on a conference call meeting and i need you to provide our clientswith some gift cardscan you confirm if we can get EBay gift cards from the nearest stores.
-Brian
I noticed that Brian dodged my inquiry, and here’s where I learned a valuable lesson: Make the spammer answer your question before giving them what they want.
Again I ask you… What’s in it for me? I see no upside on my end here…
-Hope
Brian finally coughs up his offer:
I’m going to reimburse more than your expectations as soon as I’m done here ok.
-Brian
Huh…sounds pretty good. But ultimately, I was interested in knowing exactly HOW MUCH he was gonna give me.
Ahhh okay. Just how much are we talking here Brian? I don’t work cheap you know…especially these days.
-Hope
Brian then decided to stop negotiating and get back to ordering me around:
Okay Purchase 5 quantities of $200 ebay cards send me the picture here.
-Brian
Again, make the spammer answer the question:
Brian…I asked you a simple question. Please see my previous email.
-Hope
I found that if I asked multiple times, Brian would answer my question:
I’m going to reimburse you extra $1000 making $2000. Hope I want you to make it snappy ok.
-Brian
So I gathered Brian was getting impatient, but at least I’m getting $1000. Since he seemed pretty desperate, I decided to see what else I could get from him:
A thousand bucks, eh? Intriguing. Could you also throw in a raise? I’m thinking bump my salary up by $20K a year…what do you say to that, Brian?
-Hope
And he was chill with that:
Okay cool with that. Can you go now and get what I asked hope? our clients are waiting for me hope!!!
-Brian
I was pleased with my success…so I decided to see what else I could get him to agree to:
Okay sweet! Thanks! Please send validation in writing.
Now about these gift cards…Honestly, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe we should get 5 quantities of $200 worth of ripe avocados? What do you think, Brian?
-Hope
Brian dismissed my idea, which I wasn’t too happy about:
Ok Purchase 5 quantities of $200 ebay cards and scratch the code face send me the pictures here.
-Brian
I was hurt, so I asked:
Did you even read my previous email, Brian?
-Hope
He answered:
Yes, I did.
-Brian
So he deliberately ignored me? We’ll see about that:
Well then…what do you think of my avocado idea? I think it’s vastly superior to yours tbh.
-Hope
And to my delight, it seemed like Brian agreed:
okay that cool Can just run the task for me right now
-Brian
I had gotten permission, so I went ahead and implied I had carried out my plan:
Awesome – thanks for going with my idea! These people are going to be so happy 🙂
I just purchased 5 bags of $200 worth of ripe avocados.
What addresses should I send them to Brian? I need an answer ASAP as I’m on hold with the dispatcher.
-Hope
Brian was not thrilled:
I told you to purchase ebay gift cards you’re taking me for granted right
-Brian
I was surprised. I thought we were on the same page…but now I was stuck with these fake avocados:
Wait… You said the avocado idea was good, so I went with that one instead! Now what am I supposed to with these avocados, Brian!?! 🙁
-Hope
Brian then made his opinion a bit more clear:
I need you to get me the cards not avocados
-Brian
It was clear someone needed to come up with a plan to help us both, so I replied:
Hmm…well that is a problem now isn’t it?
OK Brian – check this plan out:
STEP 1 – I will send the avocados to you – please send me your address.
STEP 2 – You sell the avocados on the black market.
STEP 3 – Use the money to buy eBay gift cards.
STEP 4 – Send the gift cards to the clients.
STEP 5 – Give Hope a $1,000 bonus, and a $20Ka year raise.
This looks to be a solid plan – whatcha think?
-Hope
I thought this to be a flawless plan – but Brian sadly didn’t agree:
No, it’s not. Thanks.
-Brian
I, naturally, asked for feedback:
But why Brian? What’s wrong with this plan?
-Hope
Brian told me:
I told you to get ebay gift cards for me.
And if you can’t get that let me know ok?
-Brian
I didn’t see the problem here. I had provided the plan to get the cards, so….what was the big deal?
Yes I know you did, and I provided you with a way to acquire them…so I don’t see what the problem is here…
This is in your hands now, Brian. Please send me your address and I’ll send the avocados to you within 3-5 business days.
-Hope
At this point, Brian stopped responding, so I had to nudge him:
Brian – Time is of the essense…please send me your mailing address ASAP.
-Hope
Brian tried again to get me to buy eBay gift cards:
I need you to get me the cards right away.
-Brian
I repeated my offer above:
That’s up to you now, Brian. I have given you the opportunity to sell the avocados and use the money to get the cards – please send me your address and I’ll send the avocados to you and you can begin that process.
-Hope
I gathered Brian wasn’t very excited about this idea since he didn’t respond, so I said:
Brian? We’re wasting time…
-Hope
He replied:
I don’t want the avocados I need the physical cards ok.
-Brian
I got the feeling Brian needed me to acknowledge his feelings, so I said:
Dude I totally understand.
I promise selling the avocados won’t be that hard. Just give it a fair chance Brian.
What’s your address? I’ll ship them to you today.
-Hope
I guess I didn’t go a great job since Brian didn’t respond, so I replied again:
Brian, what’s your problem? I don’t think you understand the urgency here…
-Hope
Brian was getting sick of me by this point. At least, that’s what his email implied:
I don’t need you to run the task anymore.
-Brian
So, I had annoyed him enough to the point where he wasn’t about the cards anymore. Sweet. I twisted the dagger:
Really? But what about the avocados, Brian?
-Hope
No response. I replied:
Brian?!
-Hope
No response. I inquired of Brian once more:
Have I offended you?
-Hope
This next email was the greatest. It honestly brought me so much joy to know I had annoyed this guy so much and wasted a few hours of his day:
Yes you did. I order you to run a task for me you’re taking for granted if you can’t go the cards now don’t reply my messages ok.
-Brian
SUCCESS!!!
I then reported his email as spam and didn’t reply anymore. That exchange was way more fun than the last one and I honestly got so many more laughs. It was an entertaining afternoon to say the least.
My biggest wins were:
1 – Flipping it around so I was pestering HIM to give ME information instead of the other way around.
2 – Getting him to beg me to stop emailing him.
I’d recommend setting up a fake email address if you’d like to engage spammers and making sure you can’t get hacked just to be safe, but otherwise, it’s pretty fun 🙂
So, how do you get rid of spammers?
You annoy the heck out of them 🙂
Until next time,
Hope Frances
