Between the Words – Book Review

Last book review for the month of March – I promise (I only read three books that month).

I read Between the Words because it covers a topic that I am trying extremely hard to work on – listening. I have a tendency to want to talk much more than I listen, and when I do listen, I sometimes have a hard time not zoning out.

In short, developing the habit of perceptive listening is a huge goal of mine right now, and one of my mentors gave it to me to read so I read it. I trust my mentor’s counsel, and the field I want to go into demands that I become an expert listener.

Here are the biggest challenges this book left me with:

People sometimes do not want my opinion, just my willingness to listen. So, even though I want to help fix someone’s problem very badly, it may not be what is desired by the speaker. Sometimes (I can attest to this) you just need someone to listen to you. In addition, there are times when I have told a story because I wanted to tell it without thinking about if others wanted to hear it. Looking back, I realize that a lot of people honestly do not care about my stories. They are infinitely more interested in their own stories than mine. That is not to say I don’t have great stories, but I don’t have to tell every single one that comes to my mind!
Listening to people means knowing what they said and being genuinely interested, not just zoning out and being quiet. I am guilty of this. How many times have I completed step one (stop talking), only to start thinking about something else? Too many. Actually, this applies to writing as well. Short blog posts are much more appealing than long ones, no matter how riveting.
To understand what someone is saying to me, I should listen for the true meaning behind the words. This could mean paying attention to the speaker’s body language, their tone of voice, or other emotional/physical factors.
I cannot assume I know what someone has said to me! I need to ask for clarification. Listen first, pay attention, come up with an interpretation, and then check your interpretation of the speaker’s words for accuracy.

These are the biggest takeaways that I got from this book. If I had to pick one area, however, I would choose to work on being genuinely interested in other people. I can do this by thinking of questions I can ask the speaker about the topic he or she is talking about after he or she is done, and I can also push my own thoughts about what I still have left to do for the day (that’s normally what I think about when I’m in a hurry) and pay better attention to the speaker.

Hopefully, these things help you as well! I would highly recommend reading the book though as it goes into much more detail and a lot more points!

Until next time,

Hope Frances