Never Split the Difference – Book Review

I finished a book called Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss last week, but I haven’t posted the review yet! Actually, I’ve taken a small break from book reviews, so I thought it was a good time to get back into it 🙂

For the last year, I’ve been hearing about this book and that it was really good, but I hadn’t read it. Well, my boss bought it for me last month, so I finally read it!

It wasn’t as I had expected, but it was probably the best book on sales I’ve ever read that wasn’t written by a salesman. The author is a former FBI hostage negotiator who realized after he retired that anyone who needs to negotiate with anyone can use these skills.

There are so many points I took from this book, but I will just share the 5 things that were the most interesting to me.

Mirroring – When you basically just repeat the last bit of what the person said in question form. Doing this forces the other person to keep talking, and also helps you clarify exactly what they mean. It’s important to know exactly what your partner meant when they say something, and mirroring gets them to repeat what they’ve already said in different words. It also gets them to talk a lot and you can gain a lot of information on how to help them solve their problems.
Labeling – When you voice what you think the other person is thinking out loud. For example, I could say, “it seems like you aren’t happy with the product.” Then either they’ll quickly assure you that’s not the case (even if it is sometimes), or they’ll feel relieved that you voiced their thoughts. Either way, they feel understood. I like this because it makes the other person feel more comfortable, and shows them that I want to help.
Asking “how am I supposed to do that?” – When you are faced with a demand, ask the other person how you are supposed to fulfill that demand. For example, if someone were to tell me the vase is $400, I need to phrase my answer in a question that says “how am I supposed to do that?” This forces the other person to solve my problem.
Making the other person bid against themselves – When someone gives you a price offer for something, and after you ask how you’re supposed to do that, they will often lower the price. After this happens, you should say “no” without saying no directly. For example – “that’s a very generous offer, but I’m afraid I can’t accept it. Thanks for trying so hard though!” This is effective if it’s done about 3 times – don’t cave after the second offer comes in.
Anchors – When you throw out an insanely low number to rock the other person off balance. If the most you want to pay is $10, throw out an offer of $4. Later, after some haggling has been done using the above techniques, calculate a very odd, exact number and offer it (say like $9.27). Odd numbers seem really specific, so people are more willing to agree to them – they feel like they’ve squeezed every bit out of you.

There were more, but I’ll leave those for you to discover when you read the book 😉

It’s an easy read because he tells a lot of interesting stories and teaches from them (in short, he’s got the art of story-teaching down). I have about half the book dog-eared and I underlined something on virtually every page. So, despite the few swear words (which I blacked out so I wouldn’t have to read them next time – don’t judge me) thrown in there, it was a fun and educational book!

The main point is, read books. Read them, and then write reviews. Even if you aren’t going to post them publicly, it still gets you to think about what you’ve learned and allows the concepts to stick in your mind.

Until next time,

Hope Frances