Saying “No” (Just Be Still)
Lately, I’ve taken on a lot. There has been so much going on in my life and mine and Erik’s life together as a married couple, that it’s seemed impossible not to take on 5 things at once.
Recently I fell apart under the weight of the increasing amount of responsibilities I had taken on – it was just too much and I had failed yet again. Why is it that I’m never good enough to get all these things done? Why am I not able to better prioritize my time to achieve what needs to be completed?
It’s all so important – stuff I know God would want me to do…but it just takes so much time and leaves me weary.
When was the last time I went on a walk and just took time to just be? To just merely exist in God’s presence and say “this is enough for me”? It’s been way too long.
When did I decide I could handle all of this….on my own?
Today, I took a walk in who-knows-how long…and took time to just be still. To close my eyes and reflect on what it means to do what God calls me to do. And a gentle thought came to mind, reminding me that I haven’t taken enough time for this lately. I haven’t made time for God in my daily routine these days. Yes, He’s always there in the madness as well, but I need these times to just be alone and with Him and be still.
I finally realized today how much I’ve been missing that.
The evil one doesn’t ALWAYS need to get us to stop focusing on important things, or to throw away our time on unimportant tasks. Sometimes all he has to do is distract us with a lot of good things. Important things. Stuff that “no one else can handle” because we said that we could do it by ourselves. This is a very successful tactic. It leaves us feeling like we’re not enough, and when we try to take anything off of our plate, he’ll snicker that we’re now being “too much” by taking time for ourselves. How selfish of us!
But today, when I hear my Jesus whisper to me that He misses me – and when I realize that I was NEVER created to do all of these things on my own – I know the above statements are all lies. Lies that say I’m not good enough and yet too much at the same time. Lies that bring me to the breaking point and push me over the edge til there’s not much left, and I’m left swirling like I’m in a tornado, wondering how I even got there in the first place.
For many of us, taking on too many “good things” is the best strategy for taking us out. I fall prey to it over and over again. But God is merciful and brings me out of the lies and the darkness every time, and shows me that I don’t need to be good enough…..And that I’m also not “too much.”
I was created the way I am for a reason. To play to my strengths and shore up my weaknesses. To give it my all and let God do the rest. To rest in His peace and make time to be still.
Trusting that yes, the world will still turn, even without my help 🙂
And to learn to say “no” or “not yet” to good things so I can say “yes” to God’s best for me right here and now.
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God Bless,
Hope Anderson
Photo by Faye Cornish on Unsplash
