Living a Disciplined Life is Impossible

We’re all guilty of this. Don’t try to pretend you haven’t done the following before:

“I want to get into shape and get healthy in life. Not just in fitness either – all areas. So I’m going to read my Bible and this other book every morning for 20 minutes, and I’m going to go to the gym EVERY day and ONLY eat salads every day. NO MATTER WHAT.”

And then you proceed to do just that…for about 3 days.

Then suddenly, you’re sitting on your couch eating ice cream out of the carton watching a sit-com and you think, “What the heck am I doing? What happened to my disciplined life? Oh well…I guess I can start that up again after I get back from vacation…or when I feel super ready for it.”

I’ve done this. So many times.

It’s like I’m on this graph where I’m super disciplined for a week or so, then I’m taking horrible care of myself for a few weeks…..Up and down and up and down…..repeat.

I was listening to an audio by Chris Brady today, and he mentioned the same thing. He’s ultra successful in life…and even he said that living a disciplined life is hard – and not fun. No one wants to do it. We want the results, but we aren’t willing to stick to it.

It just sounds “not fun,” doesn’t it? I’m willing to bet that you don’t think of the word “discipline” and automatically think, “dang that sounds like a whole lot of fun! I wanna be disciplined!” Nope. Normally, when I hear the word “discipline,” I think of drudgery, hard work, and a whole lot of boring activities. Granted, I also think of the cool results I could have if I was disciplined, but the road to get there seems long. And although it would be worth it, I can’t seem to make myself do it long term without falling off the tracks every once in a while, only to feel like I have to start all over again.

So, why do I say that it’s impossible?

Because being disciplined, every single day, for the rest of your life, IS impossible. As much as some of us would like to refute that, I would challenge you to find someone who was disciplined for EVERY single day of their life (no excuses ever). Go ahead. I’ll wait.

This does NOT mean I think everyone should just give up on all their dreams in life, sit on their couch or lay in bed, and binge watch Netflix while eating cookie dough ice cream and potato chips.

Yeah please don’t do that. I hereby state that I will not be held legally responsible for your medical bills that are sure to come if you start doing that (and I won’t be held accountable for your lack of friendships or income either).

So, what SHOULD we be doing? Why try to live up to an impossible standard? It’s just demoralizing.

The answer is actually a lot simpler than you think. Habits.

Some might argue that habits ARE discipline, but think about it. Do you have to “discipline” yourself to brush your teeth every morning or night? I mean, I hope not… you’ve got other problems if that’s the case (that’s another blog post). It’s not like you have to FORCE yourself to brush your teeth or your hair, or FORCE yourself to eat food, or drive on the right side of the road. They’re just HABITS. And habits can be formed and broken.

The key to success in life is to form constructive habits and to destroy destructive ones. For a little while, your new habits will be hard to do and might require discipline. Scratch that. It WILL require discipline. But it won’t require it FOREVER, because once it becomes a habit, you don’t have to think about it much anymore.

For example, one day I went to the dentist, and they asked me (like always), “have you been flossing every day?” and I sheepishly said “no….” and they continued to lecture me on why I should and blah blah blah. Eventually, I got tired of hearing that same speech every time I went to the dentist, so I started flossing EVERY night. At first, it was a chore and I had to force myself to do it, but eventually (now), I don’t even really think about it…I just do it. And it feels wrong if I skip it.

You can apply this to all areas of life – eating healthy, working out, reading, listening to positive information, hanging out with affirming people who push you to be better, cleaning your house, etc. If you just tell yourself, “this will only be hard for a few weeks or a few months – push through it,” you’ll be much more likely to succeed than if you tell yourself “I have to force myself to do this EVERY DAY for the rest of my life.” It’s just not true. If you’re disciplined in the short term, you’ll live successfully in the long term.

One more thing to add – I’ve personally found it helpful not to try and establish more than 2 or 3 habits at the same time because then I get overwhelmed. Depending on what area they’re in and how easy they are to form, don’t try to add like, 50 new habits into your life at the same time 😉 I think that’s another pit fall of good intentions…Your life sucks, so you think of all the ways you need to improve and you try and do ALL of them at the same time, get overwhelmed and frustrated, and then you’re back where you started – depressed and annoyed that you failed again.

Pick just one. Just start. Don’t say you’ll start tomorrow, because tomorrow never becomes today, or right now. Start today and pick one habit to form, then over time, add more and more. Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world.

Make it so that 20 years from now, you’ll be proud of the way you spent your life today.

Until next time,

Hope Frances

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash